The Observing Child

Dear Readers,

(We at Magicmindz like to welcome our new contributor Namitha Akshanthalu. Your opinions in the form of likes and comments are valued by us and we always thank you for stopping by our blog. Without much ado…please read on her first blog)

On one of those odd days when I went to pick my daughter from school, I saw another parent of a kindergarten child speaking to the class teacher. I happened to sit close by and overheard their conversation. The teacher went like this “He is very good in his academics (!!!) and I have no complaints but he is very naughty, throws pencils, sharpener and eraser at other children in the class.” The teacher went on and on complaining and in between questioning the boy “why do you do that? Won’t it hurt others?” If only the boy knew that it hurts because he has probably seen Tom and Jerry, run around beating each other and it’s so much fun!! Oggy and the Cockroaches are no less. Why are children made to watch cartoons? Do we know that Cartoons were meant for adults and not for children?

Cartoons have been used to depict a wide range of political, religious and social viewpoints and often touch upon topics that may be sensitive. As social critics, these cartoonists work best in times of social unrest and movements towards reform. It is more challenging for them to maintain their critical wit in times of tragedy, uncertainty or the threat of war when the tendency is to invoke nationalist sentiment and comfort the public.

For children, what they see is what they do. Most children these days spend time playing video games or watching cartoons. When Jerry burns Tom’s tail, the tail is charred and Tom screams but the very next minute, he is chasing Jerry with his all shiny and beautiful tail as ever. A child who sees this does not understand pain. Children easily get tagged as naughty, distractive, hyper, liar, brainless, shameless, attitude and what not. But do we try to understand the reason behind their behavior? Whom are they trying to imitate? From where are they observing these?

Our parents were not addicted to television, computer or mobile phones. We spent a good time with family, friends, and relatives. Our only distraction was physically going out on the streets and playing. Hence we developed better motor skills and other life skills without being explicitly taught. Can we empathize with the current generation and their lack of exposure to beautiful life? We embrace modern lifestyle in the name of comfort and then repent for our children’s behavior.

Something commonly heard of “I have given him all the luxury in life and buy all that he needs and more. All that we expect from him is to study well and he cannot do that. He is so lazy and irresponsible”. The child cannot study, only because of lack of purpose in studying as everything that he needs is already under his feet and a command away.

 

*Images are subjected to Google

 

A Pre-school Teacher

It’s been a long time, I blogged. I apologize for that. My exams were up and lots of preparation went by.  After encountering a few issues with my little one at school, I am here today, to pen down my thoughts.

My two-year-old boy is still unable to speak well. Though he speaks a few words, it cannot be completely said that he talks well. We got him admitted into well established pre-school and hoped, he would pick up speech and communicate effectively after going to school. Our hopes failed. I believe for any student of any age, getting a good teacher who can bring the best in his/her student life is really important. We were not so lucky with my little one in finding a dutiful and inspiring teacher. Every child is different. Each child’s development or achieving the milestones cannot be compared with one another. If a teacher is well-trained, it becomes easy for him/her to understand the psychology of a toddler mind.

When compared to other children in the class, my son was different (according to the teacher). He would not sit in one place. He always keeps roaming in the class; he wants to explore the class all the while. These were the kind of complaints we got from the teacher. He never cries when we drop him at the school. I have seen several kids who still cry, after two months into school. We were initially happy about this behavior of our child. We were happy that he loves going to school. He never cried, unlike some other kids. This happiness did not last long.

His class teacher found it difficult to manage him. She started to make him sit alone on a bench throughout the class as a punishment for his behavior. Every day we would get complaints regarding his behavior in class. Of late, he does not want to go to school and cries each day.  We got worried. We were given a picture as if our child was not normal and was asked to go for a behavioral evaluation.

Likewise, we went for an evaluation to a well-known child psychologist. The doctor, after observing our child gave a report saying that he was perfectly normal. There is a slight delay in speech and nothing unusual was observed. The doctor also advised that our child is an active kid and we are blessed in having him.

Now, the question is why is the teacher always finding fault with my child? There may be several reasons for it.

  • The teacher is not well-trained.
  • The teacher may not be patient enough to control about 20 toddlers at once in a class.
  • The teacher may not like my child.
  • The teacher’s expectation from the child may not be met.

I am not entirely blaming the teacher for whatever turmoil we underwent. I would like to state that, if the teacher is able to understand a child and its behavior, without resorting to time outs and punishments, the child may open up to the teacher. Once the child is comfortable with the teacher, the relationship and bonding they share will be beneficial.

I am a teacher too. I feel teaching the pre-schooler is the most difficult task. I am comfortable in teaching the higher classes. I always take time to appreciate my pre-school teacher colleagues for their efforts in honing the skills of tiny tots.

The basic foundation of a child growth is very important and a teacher at that age plays a huge role. Teaching is a profession that requires a lot of patience. A teacher might be many things, a father or mother, a grandparent, etc but when they enter into their education institute they are just a teacher. It is a bigger responsibility to forget what you are outside the institute and become and do only that what you have come for.

This is my personal experience with my child and his teacher. Kindly share your experience or advice that would help me in managing my child and develop his relationship with school and teacher. Thanks for stopping by.

Experiences Teaches the Life Best Lessons – Parenting At Its Best

I am sure you must be thinking here comes another to do lists of ‘what to do’ and ‘what not to do’ in parenting. If am right, then you can relax, because this article is definitely not a free advice or tips on parenting which we could find plenty in many websites all over the internet. While we all agree that parenting is the toughest job, doing it right and being an ideal parent is a dream come true because we see results of what we do or did for our children when they grow up.

I, on the other hand, find it so difficult sometimes wondering what is the right way in everything we do? When I became a mother, I never knew how things would be. I thought the baby stage will pass and it will be easier when my child starts to walk and talk. When that time came I thought, it might be better once my daughter starts going to school and I will get some ‘me’ time. Now, am thinking that probably it might be bit easier when she grows to an age where she will be able to take her own responsibilities. Because this phase of school going age seems the toughest of all or so it seems yet! Am hoping mothers out there with more experience than me to assure it’s not tough as they grow. (Something tells me that’s not the case because we mothers cannot stop worrying at any age, yeah?)

Here is one such scenario between me and my daughter a few days back.

The school reopened after a lengthy (although it was the usual summer vacations, it did feel too long) holidays and my daughter had a lot of stories to tell me the first day when she was back home from school. While I kept listening to her, I noticed that in two months of not going to school, she lost the habit of putting her uniform neatly to a cloth hanger and instead she threw it on her bed. I pointed it out to her. Immediately, her reply was “you do it all the time and why was it wrong for me to do the same”. While I did ask her to do what is right then, I did realize my mistake too. Alright! I’m not a shabby person as it sounds here, but we mothers do have moments where it feels good to just be that careless and enjoy some me time. Sigh! But sometimes that might be a mistake around a growing child.

Someone said it right, “children do learn from us”. There were occasions when I did the same mistake and like any other child who are most observant especially about what their parents do and act, my daughter too has picked up on this habit within no time at all. As I said, you must have noticed children are fast in picking that one single bad habit in us which, we don’t want them to learn. Alas! If only we can change.

Correction – I decided to be careful in keeping my closets neat and not get careless so that my daughter makes it a habit of keeping her things in order.

Similarly, there are many such situations that we find our kids pointing out our mistakes when we ask them to do things right. I do understand that none of us can be a perfect person with all saint like habit’s but it is important to teach values to our children and make them learn good habits at a young age by simply we doing them in a right way.

Sometimes there are certain situations for we elders can learn from our kids who unknowingly might teach us many things with their innocent minds and thoughts. While I teach to my daughter, there are moments I learn too and everyday its a new learning. Hence, there is not a single moment I regret.

Each of you might have different experiences, not just as a mother, but also being a father. Let’s hear some of it in the comments section just so I can be reassured that am not the only fish in the pond.