For The New Beginnings

Happy New Year 2017!!!!

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So! Finally, we ended 2016 and put it in the bag of history. I understand that 2016 was not really a good year for many, as for me it was ok-ish.

However, when my phone was bombarded with various photo messages and GIF images of sparkling crackers and lights, I wondered why we celebrate a new year Jan 1st (apart from the religious reason) with so much of jubilation and pomp? Is 2017 going to be any different than 2016, 31st December or for that matter a few days/months before? I cannot really see any much changes at least in my life and all I know, no matter what life moves on, be it 2016, 17 or 18 etc. For new beginnings, we need not have to wait for a new day, new month or even new year. It just sounds like another resolution that we all know, we would never follow the minute we make it.

Perhaps, it is the promise of a new day, month or year is another opportunity to start a fresh, do it all again but in a different way, different methods and reach new goals, makes everyone to celebrate and welcome a new year. I hope that stands true to all of us.

Although, I began the very first hour of 2017, shouting on a kid who was our neighbor. Well, I could not help it when he kept shouting “happy new year” for the entire world to hear and burning crackers which disturbed the sleep of all of us at home(pet included). Do not get me wrong, am not so boring that I dislike partying and celebrating. Also, definitely not someone who wants to destroy a small child enthusiasm but seriously this kid kept on shouting endlessly at midnight.

I remember, someone telling me that a new year day should be started with a good laugh, love, smiling with much patience (which I lack) and with all the good things. I started 2017 with not so well, however, the day went on to be good. I hope the 365 ¼ days of 2017 will bring better things to me and to all of us.

So, here I am! Wishing you all for new beginnings, new opportunities, a chance to do it again and come out winning.

Cheers! To all of you and a “Very Happy New Year 2017″

Is Hitting Your Child the Only Way to Teach Discipline?

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It was a Sunday evening and we were returning from the “Forum mall”. My daughter had got new skater shoes as a gift for her birthday this year and she wanted to try them out in the mall. We spent some leisure time of the Sunday noon and were on the way back home. We passed through the “Adigas” restaurant, chit chatting in the car about various things. There was a traffic signal showing red ahead us and hence my husband who was driving the car was going slow. My daughter was facing me and I was looking at her. I also overlooked into the window and could easily watch the passers-by on the other side of the road.

Suddenly from nowhere we all heard a loud sound that felt like a slap “Phat”. I knew it was a slap as I saw through the window that was happening in the middle of the vehicles parking space in front of the restaurant.

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My daughter, who was talking to me, was shocked hearing the sound and asked what was it? She immediately turned behind and looked out of the window.

What we witnessed was a mother in the parking area slapped her son so hard that the sound was heard miles afar. But the expression of the boy was heartbreaking, which I probably will never forget in my life.

No, am not trying to criticize the mom here, because I have no rights.

My daughter became silent as she remembered one such recent incident that happened between us. A couple of days back, for reason I do not remember now, I was very angry at her and did scold her on the road while I was dropping her to school. Unfortunately, my voice came out a bit harsh and loud. A friend of her was passing by and heard our conversation. After getting into school, this friend particularly came to her to ask as for why my daughter was being scolded in the middle of the road. My daughter felt it very embarrassing and came home in the evening with a sad face. She told me with tears in her eyes that if she is wrong, she will correct it when I tell it at home but not to speak as harshly in front of her friends and in public.

It’s impossible for me to express how sorry I felt then, but I did convey it to her that it will never happen again.

Coming back to the incident what we saw in front of the cafe, my daughter was able to relate to the situation and probably it made her remember her experience. But what I saw on the boy’s face was painful. He was not more than 13 years of age I suppose. Whatever mistake he did, as detrimental it might be, standing in front of a fast food restaurant where so many people are in the open and facing to the main road, hitting your child as hard as it looked was totally wrong. The boy looked scared, and did not move; his eyes had no tears because fear and pride did not let it role down. But I know, he would have shed buckets later.

Is that right from the mother part? I don’t know what the experts say or the mother’s of grown up kids say for something like this. Am sure given the chance, the mother who slapped the boy will have multiple reasons to justify her actions. For me whatever it is, is not reason enough. Simply because I saw the boy’s face when my mind was calm and could able to feel the pain he must have felt at the moment. No, not the pain of the slap. But the slap, seen by hundreds. For a child, it does not matter that everyone who saw the slap is a stranger and will be forgotten within minutes or maybe in a day or two.

I was not as harsh on my daughter, but I think it’s still not a way to behave as a mother. I owe it to this mother in the parking space we saw who opened my eyes and taught me a lesson. I hope even that was just a first and the mother did realize her behavior too.

We parents, stand as the protectors of our children emotionally and physically both. If we become a reason for our children to feel let down, then there will be no meaning in being a parent. Most often than not, we mothers do lose our calm with the hundred and one things our children do wrong or irritate us in all possible way. But, aren’t they are called children for a reason?

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It is illegal to hit children in many countries. Hitting a child may control his or her behavior for the moment, but it can damage them and your relationship. There are many other ways to discipline our children and hitting is not one of them. I am no novice and I do make mistakes as well. But like our children, we too have some limits. Crossing our limits can harm our own children.

So, be careful and be responsible.

PS: The boy and the mother resembled strongly with their looks which made me believe their relationship as the mother and son!

That Moment When Life Freezes But we move on

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Besides our everyday mundane life, there are such incidents that become an unforgettable event or a memory. I decided to share with you all one such tragic yet a tell-able true life story of a dear friend, who wants it to be told to the entire world. Maybe putting it out there as story to be told or read by others might give her some peace because, sometimes to find calm all we need to do is talk it out. On my friend request, I choose to keep her name anonymous. Please read the below story and share your thoughts.

The phone rings, Shalom picks the call and says “Hello”, a sweet voice on the other end says, “Hello sweetheart”. Shalom is surprised, this was totally unexpected from a stranger to be called as a sweetheart, with a smile on her face, she asks, “Who is this?” the voice says, “It’s me Victor”. “Victor? Who Victor? I don’t know any Victor”. Shalom knew it was a prank call. Somehow she was attracted to this voice on the other end. She wanted to know this person that instance. She prolonged the conversation. “Why are you calling me? Who are you? Please tell me?” Victor could sense the eagerness in her voice. He was happy that she did not disconnect but continued to speak. He said, “I got your number from one of my friend, I was attracted to you the first time I saw you in her place. I wanted to talk to you”. Shalom could not recollect who “friend” is he referring to. She paused for a while. The voice on the other end disrupted her thoughts. “Hello”, “are you there?” She said, “Yes”. “I don’t remember which friend are you talking about?” Soon Victor said, “I will call you some other time and explain I have some important work now”. He disconnects the call.

That call she received the other day, brought about lot of emotions in Shalom. She was so fascinated talking to a stranger, she could not explain her feelings. This was natural feeling for a girl of her age, just out of college and ready to mingle. She waited for the next call. It was after a week that she received the next call. This time, she spoke to him as if she knew him for a long time. The conversation was everything she wanted to know about him. It was as if she was interviewing him. Victor and Shalom became good friends. The phone calls became regular. Shalom would forget the world when she is speaking to Victor.

They became good friends; Both stayed in different cities and had not met even for once. No photographs were exchanged as well. Both had a lot in common and fell in love soon. They decided to meet each other. Victor promised Shalom that he would come to her city to meet her. Shalom had informed her parents about Victor and they too were eager to meet him. Shalom and Victor wanted to meet, get their families introduced and eventually settle in life by getting married. Life was beautiful for both of them.

The day arrived, when Victor was expected to visit Shalom’s place. Shalom received a call from Victor, he said that he had an urgent meeting in his office and that he could not come to her place. Shalom was sad. She was so eager to see him for the first time. She was disappointed; she did not want Victor to hear her disappointment and so she pretended that she was fine. She readily smiled and said, ‘some other day, work is important.’ Deep inside her mind, she was unhappy. All sorts of thoughts crossed her mind. She began to think, if Victor is no longer interested in her. The thoughts were frightening. She could not do much. Her parents cheered her and said, things will be fine, and he will come when he is free.

Victor called Shalom after two days and said; that he had to leave to New Zealand on a project and that he would come back only after 6 months. He was very sad that he could not meet her. He also informed her that he would be in touch with her while he stayed away.

This news shattered Shalom. She was a very emotional girl and for her this was her first love. Though she had not seen the person, she was deeply in love with him. Days passed, Shalom and Victor were on phone with each other almost every day. Despite the time difference, Victor was in touch with her. Victor was not able to adjust to the extreme climate in New Zealand. He fell ill very often. This worried Shalom. One day it was informed to Shalom, that Victor was hospitalized. She was not able to contact Victor for a week. Shalom was worried, she could not contact him and could not find out how his health was. After a week, she got a call from Victor. He said he was sorry as he was unable to contact her and that he was not given his phone. He did not tell her anything beyond this. He said, he was fine. The truth was, he was seriously ill and that doctors had given up hope on his life. He was almost in his death bed.

Shalom thought that he would be fine and would return to visit her. She was eager to see him even more now. She was helpless, staying far away and not knowing about his health, made Shalom depressed. Finally, one day, she received a message on her phone that Victor was dead and the following day was his cremation in a local cemetery. This news shattered Shalom. She cried uncontrollably. Her parents also could not do much to console her. She was in a state of shock and could not come out of it for a long time. She frantically called Victor’s number hoping to hear from someone to say that the news is false. Everything she did was futile. She was not able to confirm the news at all. That was the last ever messages she received from Victor’s number.

Till date, Shalom believes that Victor must be alive somewhere and that he was fine. In spite of her being informed about him, she refuses to believe that news is true. Victor remained Shalom’s first love and she cherishes every moment she spent speaking to him. Though she had never seen him in her life, she had an image of him in her mind.

No one can forget our first love and all the memories attached with it. If we are lucky we live with that love for ever. But, for girls like Shalom, only memories are alive and not the first love.

Love and relationships is very sensitive. Every little thing carries lot of importance. We may know many people who keep some things with them which have a memory attached to it. The gifts they receive, the chocolates given to them from their close friends, the wrapper of that chocolate paper will become a memorabilia. I personally have a bag full of such memories from my childhood till college. The photos, the albums, the memories all these will be such a treasure for life. Sometimes, whenever I am lonely, I check this stuff which I have kept with me. It takes me into a journey back in time. If you too have a story to share or a memory please share it with us.

 

Tags: short story, relationship, first love, share your story, memories, memorabilia, treasure, sensitive, girls