My mother is my inspiration. I lost my mom when I was 27. I was married and had a kid who was 10 months old at that time. I am glad that my mom held my baby in her arms before God took her away from us. We were from the middle class Indian family. Dad had a transferable job and we moved from one place to another once in every 3 years. This made us visit various places and get to meet different people. She is the one who inspired me to study well and achieve success in life. My mother was a friendly lady and was down to earth. She was liked by all in my family for her humble nature.
There is a saying that goes, “No one can replace a mom”. Yes, everyone feels that no matter what age we are, we need mom to be by our side. I was not so fortunate in this case. I could not imagine a single day without my mom and now I have been living without her, for nearly 10 years. Losing a parent at any age is difficult to cope up with.
My mother did not desire for any higher education for herself, though she was a graduate. But, she always wanted my brother and I study well. We were made to focus only on studies. My dad would tell us that our studies will always help us in future. It is the foundation for our successful life. When I was doing my post-graduation, my mom wished that I top the University and get a gold medal. I told her as “no mother would wish like how you wish mom, it’s not going to happen”. She taught me ‘nothing is impossible. You need to strive to reach your goal. Keep in mind that you are what you think you are’. I was really not so serious about this, but my mom had that confidence in me that I would achieve what she wished. I studied hard, tried my best. Then there was this moment in my life, when it was announced in our college that I have received a gold medal for standing first in University. Our joys had no bounds. I totally dedicate my achievements to my parents. They were the one who encouraged me in gaining the success they always wished. The moment, when your parents are proud of your achievement, is an awesome feeling. My mom’s wishes, prayers and my dad’s support along with my brother’s encouragement became my pillar of strength.
My mother was diagnosed of terminal lung cancer. This happened the year after my brother and I had completed our studies. It was really difficult to come to terms with life when you know that a family member is suffering. One year passed by chemotherapy sessions, the visits to hospitals, the pain my mother had, the trauma. After a year of chemotherapy sessions, the doctors told us that my mother had not responded for any medication and that there is no hope.
It was 13 May 2007, “Mothers’ Day”. The whole world was celebrating this day. There were many messages in News Papers and television, about a mother and feelings attached towards it. Our whole family was together on that day. We were planning to go out for a pizza. I asked my mother, if she wants to eat a pizza. She said, ‘get me one, I‘d love it’. Though she was bed ridden, she was very cheerful. She looked at ease and did not show any signs of difficulty. Suddenly, she began gasping; I was there right next to her. But, unfortunately, it was her last day.
Initially it was difficult for me to spend every minute without my mother’s presence and it took a long time to even realize that she is no more with us, but we all had a life to live on and we took strength from each other. Losing a parent is difficult for anyone, and it is the near and dear one’s that matters in such times to draw up strength and move on.
Here are a few ways that could be helpful to cope in similar situation, although I will not expect this situation to anyone.
- Spend time with family; help each other in coming back to terms.
This is the time when our family needs us. Our family was shattered; however, we had to get over the loss of our mother. We all stayed with each other and helped to get over the loss.
- Change of Environment
If possible, take the spouse to a different place for some time. In this way with new surroundings, they will be able to come to normal life. After few months of my mother’s demise, my brother took my dad to London. They stayed there for a year. It was at this time, that dad managed to stay without mom and he got adjusted to the life.
- Develop a new hobby
Hobbies like painting, gardening, cooking or anything that keeps you busy. I was not a good cook. Now, I started to learn cooking and tried new recipes. As I had a little child, spending time with her also gave me solace.
- Learn a musical instrument – it helps to soothe the mind.
- Learn yoga or meditation.
Today mom is not among us, but her presence is always felt. I am happy that at least she was satisfied in life and must be at peace somewhere. I am now a mom of two and wish, I too become an inspiration for my kids one day. I have made a promise to myself, that I would be conscious of my health and try to be active and be with my kids till they are well settled in their life.